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Tuesday, 19 May 2015

‘We see broken families leave here whole’

  • Domestic violence survivor reveals how refuges are vital lifeline

  • Charlotte Kneer now runs Women’s Aid centre after ex attacked her

  • Join Sun’s Give Me Shelter campaign to help save shelters in UK

    POLITICIANS from all sides have backed The Sun’s Give Me Shelter campaign – and promised action, writes TOM NEWTON DUNN.
    Our hard-hitting front page was also a wake-up call for the new Tory government.
    Charlotte Kneer now runs refuge after being attacked by ex
    Charlotte Kneer now runs refuge after being attacked
    No10 said PM David Cameron would ensure the women’s refuges funding crisis is examined “very carefully”.
    His spokesman said: “We will look at all the ways to ensure the best available help is on hand for the victims of very serious crimes.”
    Communities Secretary Greg Clark praised The Sun for “giving this important issue the attention it merits”. And Labour’s Gloria de Piero, Shadow Women’s Minister, also hailed our campaign.
    Scandalously, cost-cutting has closed 32 refuges for victims of domestic violence since 2010.
    Below we talk to one victim who is now helping others. And two children reveal, in their own words, how aggression in the home affected them.

    EACH time a trembling finger presses the buzzer on her refuge door, Charlotte Kneer reflects on her own rollercoaster journey from domestic violence victim to survivor.
    In one severe attack, her partner Wayne Prior, bit flesh from her neck. In another, he almost strangled her.
    Refuge centres provide support and safe place to stay for families
    Refuge centres provide support and safe place to stay for families
    On her daughter’s first birthday, Charlotte bundled her three children into the family car and headed for a safe house – the only sanctuary from another beating, perhaps even death.
    Now as the manager of a Women’s Aid refuge herself, it is Charlotte’s job to care for women who have been living her old nightmare. She does it with warmth and love born out of true empathy.
    Charlotte said: “Doing this job gives me strength I didn’t know I had. Every woman that comes through this door is amazing and I want to make her life better. It takes great courage to leave. I should know because I’ve been there. It’s my aim to help women stay left.
    “The reward is seeing a family that has been broken leave this house whole. Some people have the perception of a refuge as a grotty hostel but it couldn’t be more different. It’s about complete rehabilitation; discovering what has happened and why.”
    Charlotte is now on the frontline fighting against the closure of women’s refuges. A staggering 32 specialist refuges have closed in the past four years and many more are under threat. Nearly a third of referrals to refuges across the country were turned down last year because of lack of space.
    Campaigners say a recent £10million government funding pledge is a sticking plaster that can only sustain services for a further two years.
    The Sun’s #GiveMeShelter campaign is calling for a long-term funding strategy and the reinstatement of 32 refuges.
    While funds last, Charlotte and her dedicated team continue to provide beds and specialist support for nine women and up to 21 children who have fled violence and threatening and controlling behaviour in the south of England.
    Charlotte’s shelter resembles a bright and breezy holiday cottage with women busily sharing cooking and washing chores while their children play outside in a well-kept garden.
  • Each family lives independently under her roof but crucially has access to specialist support from onsite Family Support Workers, Counselling and health support. There are weekend trips to the cinema for kids and family visits to the seaside and local farms.
    Crucially, the refuge team distribute food vouchers, toys, toiletries, bedding and school uniform vouchers . The families they help often flee their homes in fear of their lives with only seconds to spare. They have nothing.
    The 44-year-old mum-of-three still recalls the terror she felt at the hands of her own seemingly charming partner – and the courage it took to leave him.
    She said: “I met him in 1994 when I was a single mum with a 6 month old son (his dad left us when he was 10 days old) and my brother was dying from leukemia. Looking back I can see that I was quite vulnerable.
    “My mum had also been married twice, both times in abusive relationships, so in a perverse way, violence in relationships was normal to me.
    “But Wayne seemed different. One of the things I found most appealing about him was that he was incredibly attentive. He wanted to know what I was doing, where I was going and whom I was with? At the time, I thought: ‘Wow, he loves me so much.’
    “I’d heard he had previously abused women but I didn’t believe it or didn’t want to believe it. Now I know that all the danger signs were there.”
    Charlotte’s perception of Prior as an ideal partner was first shattered at a wedding in the summer of 1995. She recalled: “He’d been drinking all day and became verbally aggressive so I said I wanted to go home and asked him for the car keys. I started walking towards the car, which was at the end of a long drive. Suddenly he attacked me, punching the back of my head so forcefully that I rolled down a steep bank. Then he punched me in the face repeatedly.”
    Charlotte, a former recruitment consultant, ran back to the wedding desperately seeking the help of Prior’s parents. Chillingly, they said little and drove her home in near silence.
    “That’s the point where I should have left,’ Charlotte reflects poignantly, “But the next day he came round crying, devastated – so I let him in and forgave him. I wanted to believe he’d never do it again. I didn’t question what I was doing. I felt so sorry for him.”
    Prior’s violent tendencies flared in six-month cycles. At the end of 1995 he tried to kill Charlotte for the first time.
    She recalled: “We had gone out and returned to our flat when he suddenly flipped. He pulled me out of bed, straddled me and repeatedly punched my head. He said: ‘I’m going to kill you’ before biting a chunk out of my neck and ripping out my flesh. Then he dragged me by my hair out to the kitchen and got a knife, which he tried to kill me with. I grabbed the blade and he eventually slid onto the floor. I ran.”
    Police put a restraining order on Prior, a carpenter, but the arch manipulator convinced Charlotte he was a desperate alcoholic who needed help and she dropped all charges.
    Charlotte went on to have two children with Prior against a backdrop of continual abuse and harassment that continued until his conviction in 2011.
    She said: “It took a final serious assault for me to leave him. He tried to strangle and stab me so the next day I went to a solicitor with some money borrowed from my mum and got a non-molestation order. He breached it immediately and was arrested. Thankfully, that was the beginning of the end.”
    The Police investigation uncovered two of Prior’s ex girlfriends with similar experiences who were also prepared to bring charges against him.
    Eventually, Lewes Crown Court heard Prior admit seven counts of actual bodily harm, two counts of making threats to kill and one of common assault against the three women from 1993 to 2010. He was sentenced to imprisonment and is currently living on licence in Devon.

     

 

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